OMG!!!

I hope you all had a good holiday, whatever you celebrate; however you celebrate.

BUT, now that it's all said and done here are some reasons I don't understand 'organized' religion.  (Please take this in the semi-sarcastic/humoristic tone in which it is intended).

Christianity
So when Jesus was killed (presumably for the blasphemy of proclaiming himself the 'King of the Jews') those left behind decided the best way to honor him was to create a different religion?

Judaism
The Jews are known as "The Chosen Ones", but I have to ask what they were chosen for? Since pretty much the beginning of civilization the Jews have only been chosen for death and scapegoatism (can I get a spell check on my made up word??) as best I can tell.

Buddhism
If you’re a good person and meet a certain set of standards, when you die you go to Nirvana, which is, of course, a fancy version of heaven.  But if you’re bad, you’re basically demoted? You can come back as a pig or a goat or something. But here’s what I don’t understand. How do you work your way back up? Do you have to be a good pig to then be reborn as a human? What is a good pig? One who doesn’t roll around in it’s own shit?! What’s a good cow? One who gets lucky enough to be in a Hebrew National hotdog? I mean, they do ‘answer to a higher authority.’” (I'll be taking my stand-up routine on the road shortly).

Islam
Forget radical extremists.  I am not bigoted or naive enough to believe that the majority of Islam are whack-job terrorists.  But, prayer 5 times a day?  Now, that is extreme.  Add that to sleeping and eating and I have to wonder how Muslims have time for anything else.
 
 
As usual this post is meant to get a laugh and inspire thought, as well as maybe provoke some comments/feedback.  Feel free to educate me on the finer religious principles or just rip into me for being an insensitive ass...