Online Dating Part 2

So my friend "The Gift" asked me if I could write a post about online dating since he has had requests for such a post but no firsthand experience with the subject. I myself am a huge proponent of online dating. When I was in my prime online dating years I even thought about writing a book about it. I was going to call it “E-Wiggle’s Guide to iSkanks”, but then I realized that was a very bad idea - I don’t want everyone to know my secrets. On a more serious note, online dating can and does “work”: meaning that you meet “real people”, not just “sketchy online people”, and you go on real dates with these real people. Online dating helped me meet my current girlfriend of nearly four years and some of my friends even met their wives this way as well. Some of those friends said they’d go back online to find their second wives too (just kidding wives!). So why online dating?

• I did not grow up around where I currently live and I didn’t know many people when I first got here. And, those that I knew were of the male persuasion. No I did NOT go to high school with so and so…
• I work in an (nearly) all male field ergo, no chances of meeting lovely unattached young women at work. Besides, you shouldn’t poo where you eat…
• My mom is over 300 miles away and a goy, and therefore a terrible matchmaker. No mom, I would NOT like to meet another nice Catholic girl (apologies to nice Catholic girls)…
• Meeting women in bars is extraordinarily difficult.
• They serve alcohol in bars.
• A drink or two is the social lubricant. It makes it easier to talk to lovely unattached young women
• But, after pounding drinks with the boys all night waiting for elusive unattached young women to show up drinking has turned our hero into a buffoon.
• Bars are typically loud ergo, difficult to woo lovely unattached young women with conversation skills.
• Bars that are not loud are filled with geezers and mad pricks and therefore zero lovely unattached young women.
• The phenomenon known as the “ladies night out” is far more difficult to split than the atom.
• Ladies go out with their lady friends because they want to spend time with their lady friends, not sketchy dudes hanging out at the bar.
• Singular lovely unattached young women at the bar may or may not be “professionals”. This depends on your neighborhood and how they are dressed. They may just be really into the game or the band. This probably means they are not into you.
• Believe it or not there are some people (both women and men) who did not get enough attention from mom or dad growing up so they like to play a game and see how many digits they can get just for the fun of it. They secretly loathe themselves and will never call back because they feel unworthy of your attention (just like mom or dad). Or, it could be they are already deeply involved in a co-dependent relationship with a like-minded individual.

So, conventional plans to meet lovely unattached young women are for the birds, or perhaps for people too, just not people like me. So, for me, online dating was a real no-brainer. The one thing that everyone on an online dating site has in common is they are there because they are looking to meet someone: unlike in a bar or club as outline above. Women have realized the shortcomings of the bar scene as well and are flocking to online dating sites like the salmon returning to Capistrano. Sure you will have to weed through some crazies, but that is the same situation you have everywhere. Also, rejecting people online and dealing with online rejection are considerably easier than the “real thing”. Just don’t break up with someone you have actually dated via email. A faux pas fo sho.

I will close with a couple of important points for the gentlemen who may now be interested in online dating: Make sure you have a darn good picture (no professional head-shots though, that is weird and creepy), and make sure your profile doesn’t scream “desperate loner / potential axe murderer”. Online dating is like anything else in life. You get out of it what you put into it. It is particularly ironic and illustrative that Ms. Right initially rejected my online advances a couple years before we first got together. The reason for rejection? Crappy pictures and profile verbiage. Everyone, especially lovely, unattached young women, likes a little intrigue. There is no need to put your whole pathetic life story up there. Please, pretty please, just don’t do it. OK? Less is more. For these and other great tips please buy my upcoming book, “E-Wiggle’s Guide to iSkanks”.

Written by: E-Wiggle



Thank you to my guest writers.  You've been very informative.

I know many of my readers have done the online thing.  Tell us about your experiences - successes, ridiculous stories, other websites you've tried and recommend or don't, etc.. Let us all learn from you.

If anyone else has a topic they want me to discuss or look into send me a message and let me know.