CARnal Knowledge

We all know that cars come with perceptions - Mercedes and BMWs, for example, show status; pick-up trucks portray ruggedness; and Cadillacs are for old people. Here are some more insights for the men. I’ll get to the women in the next post.

- I don’t care if your car is in the shop, or you’re just driving your girlfriend’s car, it is never OK to drive a Ford Focus. Volkswagen Beetles, Jettas, and Dodge Neons are also best left to the ladies.

- Mini-vans serve a purpose. No man shall mock another for driving a mini-van under the following conditions.
--> Carpooling. If 5 or more people occupy this vehicle than it is understood why it is being implemented. (The mini-van is an excellent option for getting large groups of men to bachelor parties for example).
--> Driving a family. Mini-vans have become the vehicle of choice for many families. If it’s practical for your family then do what you must. (Disclaimer: if the family has multiple cars, the wife should be main driver of mini-van and husband should not be caught driving it without excess passengers or cargo.)
--> Moving. There is no denying the space afforded by a mini-van sans backseats. Sometimes it’s just convenient.
--> Teenager. They can’t be picky.

- Saving the planet is a good thing. So is saving money. Going Hybrid is completely acceptable. (As is using your ‘sensitive’ side to pick up women.)

- It is never OK to own a white sedan. I don’t think this point needs any elaboration. White SUV’s are acceptable, but only with copious amounts of dirt and mud.


Previously I would not have bothered to include this, but I want to make one more point clear. The largest faux pas is buying more car than you can afford. In this economy you never know what can happen. Keep in mind also that cars that are expensive to buy are expensive to maintain and repair.