100 (or 50+) Rules to Live By #3

-Don't be the embarrassing "old guy" inappropriately hitting on college girls at the bar.

-If you're going to be labelled make sure it's positive.

-Everyone is someone's role model.  Own it.

-Cigarettes don't make you look cool.  They make you look ignorant.  (Did you know that cigarettes are bad for you AND those around you?)

-Always try things.  But never "just fitting in".

-The ultimate is dying with a smile on your face.  Since you can't know when that time will come make smiling a habit.

-Love means putting yourself second.  If that other person also puts you second rethink your stance.

-Turn off your TV, Facebook, and Twitter for a week.  See what you can do.  And don't worry, you've got DVR.

-Stepping out of your comfort zone is the only way to expand it.

-Reconnect with that old friend you still think about every now and then.

100 (or 50+) Rules to Live By #2

-You've spent a lifetime building a network.  Use it.

-He/She may be your best friend, but he/she is still not a mind reader.

-Don't be a douche.

-Don't live beyond your means.

-No one is out of your league.  Act accordingly.

-Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

-"So I just try, fail and try and try again.  Cause someday I swear I'm gonna get it, Cause I'm convinced giving in is the worst thing there is." - Straylight Run

-"Just so I can say I did it" is not a reason to do something.  “For the Story” (FTS) might be.

-Don't settle.

-"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened…or you can just leave the pieces of the floor and move the fuck on." -Tupac Shakur

-Help others… Don’t be used by them.

100 (or 50+) Rules to Live By

Previously I wrote some Rules To Live By.  It was inspired by another blog I read but my list was created pretty quickly.  Recently (probably inspired by the New Year) a lot of these lists have come to my attention.  Though many are good, I figured I'd take another shot.  And let's be honest, I have no idea who reads this blog, so this is really more for me than you.

A few notes:

1 - I'm doing this list in chunks.  1 so it looks like I'm posting more often and 2 because I want you to digest it.
2 - I couldn't come up with 100 "rules" without them starting to become just silly.  I hope you will submit yours to me and I can round out the list with those provided by my readers (all credit given to the submitter).
3 - I'm not going to pretend I do everything on this list, but this if I was the ideal version of myself, I would follow every one of these "rules"... in 2012 I'm going to try to follow them more closely.
4 - I tried to put this list in some "from most important to least important" order, but that didn't really seem feasible.  Feel free to create an order out of these and let me know.
5 - I apologize if there is a tilt towards the male centricity.  I am who I am and my perspective is thus. If my female readers wish to add their perspective please see note #6!
6 - Feedback and your additions are encouraged.. good or bad.


-See the world.

-Show your commitment to your country once every four years.  Vote.

-I don't know if laughter is an emotion, but no matter how bad my mood or how sad I feel, laughter is the easiest way to break out of the funk.  Find your laughter.

-Throughout your life you'll take steps backwards.  With diets, friends, family, jobs, whatever.  Make sure you rebound with 2 steps forward.  Whatever it takes.

-Read.

-Don't just think about it. Do it. 

-Whatever was the first thought you just had, GO!  Finish this list later.

-Be spontaneous.  Even if it's scary.

-"Serious" is a great place to visit, but it's no way to live.

-Speak up.

Thanks Giving

Yesterday I donated a little to some charities that are important to me.  I'm not saying this for praise or recognition, but rather because it brought up some questions...

For one, let's just say I donated to a non-profit whose mission is research, and proposedly development of a cure, vaccine, or at least a medical protocol to increase standard of living or life expectancy.  My question is then, what if they find a cure or vaccine or a medical protocol?  Who pays for the treatments?  Notice that this not a drug company and as a non-profit it isn't meant to make, well, profit, but of course there are costs incurred beyond the R&D...  So, what happens if one of these companies is ultimately "successful"?  Who overseas the use of donor funds or how the treatments are administered?

And, not-for-profit doesn't mean that a company doesn't make money.  It still has employees and management and executives who need to be compensated.  So, isn't this a dilemma?  If a companies mission is to develop a cure for something and it achieves this mission doesn't it put itself out of business?  Isn't this about as clear a conflict of interest as anything has ever been? 

I write this with hesitation.  I certainly hope people donate to causes they believe in and I don't mean to shine unfavorable light on any organization which is out to do good.  Rather, I'm simply looking to ask the right questions. 

Yellowcard - Believe

There is so much to say today and yet I can't seem to say any of it as eloquently as I think is necessary.  For this I apologize.  Still, I write.

10 years ago I was a freshman in college.  Barely.  I hadn't been away from home for much more than a few weeks.  I hadn't even adjusted to my new class schedule or getting up in time for my 9am class.  Most days I slept through my alarm and found myself rushing out of bed, slipping on my rollerblades (class was a good 25 minute walk and I take pride in how quick I could run up 4 flights of stairs in my skates) and speeding to class still in my pajamas - never turning on the TV.  For some reason, on September 11, 2001 my alarm actually did it's job.  But instead of the Sportscenter that morning you all know what was on the television. 

And while most of the world watched for hours stunned and unable to look away I spent those hours on my dorm room phone (I didn't yet own a cell phone) trying to reach my mother.  My mother who worked just a few blocks from the Twin Towers.  To this day few things infuriate me more than the automated words "all circuits are busy, please try again".  After racking up quite an expensive phone bill (dorm room calls were like $0.10 per minute) I learned that my mother had been picked up by an amazing cab driver and had walked across the Brooklyn Bridge and though shaken, she was OK.  The day after 9/11 I got my first cell phone.  And it wasn't long after that my mother quit her job in the city.  And to this day she won't take the subway. 

Anyway, that's my story.  But today I think of those who didn't make it home.  I think of the bravery of the "Heroes of 9/11" and the kindness of strangers towards one another.  I think of those who've lost their lives in the ongoing fight to keep this country and the world a safer place.  I think of those families who've endured the loss of loved ones throughout it all. 

I can't believe it's been 10 years.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  I can't believe it's been 10 years.  It still hasn't ended.

Quick Note

Obviously the Financial "Crisis" has been the major topic on the news and around the world.  I don't have the time or patience to go into this too much right now, but here's just a quick note.

-If you want to help the economy then stop buying stuff online.  Go into the stores.  Sure it might cost a little more and maybe it's slightly less convenient, but it also keeps people employed.  Keep this in mind: as we become more technologically advanced humans become less valuable.  I don't believe robots will take over the world, but they'll put us all out of business.. and when that happens I don't want to speculate what will happen to society.

Quote of the Day

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."  ~ Tupac

Plastic in the Pacific

I have a smart, well-educated and socially aware audience so this is probably nothing you aren't already aware of, but yet, I thought it worth sharing.




Thanks Belle P. for sharing with me!

I Love Love

If you know me, don't read into this... I just wanted to get a post in and this quote has been in my queue for a while now.. I do think it is pretty much on point though!

"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.“ --Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live

1001 Rules for My Unborn Son

This blog recently came to my attention and it's pretty good...  More importantly though, it's pretty inspiring. 

I don't agree with everything on here obviously so I've been working on a list of my own.  It likely won't have 1001 things (more like 20), but I'll get that up as soon as possible.

In the mean time you know I always give credit where it's due, so before I throw out my list I wanted to give you the "original" (I'm sure this isn't the first list of it's kind, but it's the one that inspired me).

http://rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com/

Leagues

I want to take some time today to clarify something... This concept of "leagues".  I don't know how to define leagues in a simple way, but I'm not talking about baseball leagues or organizations, etc.  I'm talking about "she's out of my league" leagues.. 

From our informative/school children days we are taught that there are jocks/cheerleaders and geeks/nerds.  And we are taught that they can't possibly coincide peacefully.  I know people believe in this concept of leagues. I know there are movies and television shows and books that emphasize these leagues... I know that in high school there is some realism behind this concept - when "cool" is the only thing that matters...

Truth is, however, after high school they just simply don't exist... 

Just think about it... if 1 person in that so-called upper echelon league is willing to "slum it", then there can be no such thing as leagues... If you approach all girls (or guys) as if they are that one exception - that one who is willing to 'settle' then you've already conquered the first step.  Eliminating this imaginary barrier. 
In fact, How I Met Your Mother (one of the best shows on TV) clearly demonstrates that in each relationship (I'll accept that this may be an over-generalization) there is always one "reacher" and one "settler".. This too illustrates my point... there are no leagues...

Sure they're are going to be some people just not interested, and maybe it is because they are too good for you (let's face it, leagues or not, some people just suck).. but more likely it's because you project this 'less-than-worthy' image out into the world.. and they conversely have no lack for self-esteem. 

Now that you hopefully understand there are no leagues (and that anyone is within your reach), all you have to do is gather some self-esteem and allow yourself to realize you are not someone to be settled for!

Addendum:  I was just asked a very good question..

"Is being in a settler/reacher relationship healthy? I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I feel like the other person settled for me or that I felt that I had to settle."

I respond to this as such:  "The key is if the two people in the relationship know that they are settling.. In practice there is only a settler/reacher in the eyes of everyone else... When you're with the right person you'll both feel like you're reaching.. cause you'll both feel like the other is amazing..
It's only your friends that will look at the 2 of you and see that she's too good for you, or you chose a loser, etc.."
 
I hope this helps to clarify things.  Keep the questions/feedback coming!

The Beatles - In My Life

I know I just blogged music, but I couldn't do anything else today.  I thought about going with some quotes, but it's all right there.. in his music....

Today marks the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's assassination.  Though I hadn't yet been born when John Lennon was tragically taken, his music had a profound impact on me and will no doubt continue to impact generations not yet born..
This is my favorite Beatles song... (what's yours?)


And for my cover-lovers this is pretty amazing...

Names

There are standard rules for guys names: 
Never trust a guy named after a city or state (Dallas).
Never trust a guy with an ironic name (over 6ft, 200lbs named Tiny).
Never trust a guy with two first names (Alan Karl).
Never trust a guy with a woman's name (Leslie).

What about women?  What if a woman has two first names (Jennifer Michelle)?  What about a women named after a state (Madison)?  What about women with ironic nicknames (Tiny)?  Women named after flowers (Daisy)? 

Can I get a ruling?

Our God Who Art in Heaven

How come religious people and those who believe in Heaven always think they'll meet God in the afterlife?  I'm not saying that it isn't the case (personally I really hope it is because I've got some things to say to him/her), but doesn't it seem a little far fetched?  Seriously, you could work in the same major corporation for 20 years and never meet the CEO.  Why would God be easier to get an audience with?  With the number of people that die everyday, there is no way God would have time to meet everyone (unless he/she really is everywhere)..  Maybe Heaven really is like Six Flags.  A really long line for a 30 second payoff.

Words I Love

As a 'writer' (yeah, I'm calling myself a writer, what about it?), I enjoy words. I don't mean it in the way a math geek dresses as a number for Halloween or the way an engineer has to take apart everything he owns just to put it back together. I'm not obsessive and I don't think about them when I lie in bed at night, but I like words.

While it's true tattoos and piercing are a form of expression there is nothing easier and sometimes harder than words to express oneself. 

Not to be cliche, but words can be more painful than piercings and more everlasting than tattoos. There may be nothing greater than having that person you love most in the world say "I love you" and there may be nothing more painful than having that same person tell you "it's over". 

Just to be clear, I fully believe that there are times when one is at a loss for words or there are just 'no words to describe...'  And I believe that words without context or emotion are meaningless..  But, that's not the point here.

What is the point you ask?  Well, basically I just needed a lead-in to this post..

Below are some words that I think are awesome (in no particular order).

• Purgatory - Any condition or place of temporary punishment, suffering, expiation, or the like.  (A place I'll probably end up after my time on this earth is up..  There is something about this word that I like.  I have no idea why.)
• Schenectady - A city in 'upstate' New York. (It's just fun to say.) 
• Convoluted - Complicated; intricately involved: a convoluted way of describing a simple device.  (I feel like life is often all too convoluted and is enjoyed much more in its simplest form.)  
• Succinct - Expressed in few words; concise; terse.  (One word that says 'get to the point'.)
• Pride - A high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. (This word says more with less than any other that I know.)
• Awkward - Hard to deal with; difficult; requiring skill, tact, or the like: an awkward situation; an awkward customer. (Maybe my favorite word of all time.  It's aWkWard to say, and to spell.  It's a word that describe itself.)

* All definitions taken from dictionary.com

Jimmy Eat World - Kill

I've tried to keep this blog from getting too personal... I mean, it's my blog and I'm the only writer so of course it's going to have a lot of my personality in it, but I've tried to keep it pretty much free from my actual life - from the ups and downs. Today I'm going to change that a little.

In the hopes to get a fresh start in 2010 I'm going to be spending the next few days exorcising my demons and getting myself in the right mentality to take on the new year.  I'm going to bring you along for the ride.

In the years to come, when I look back on 2009 I'm undoubtedly going to hear this song in my head.  In my life, no song has ever struck such a chord with me.  In the future hopefully this song will serve as a reminder of how weak I became and push me to be a stronger person.

OMG!!!

I hope you all had a good holiday, whatever you celebrate; however you celebrate.

BUT, now that it's all said and done here are some reasons I don't understand 'organized' religion.  (Please take this in the semi-sarcastic/humoristic tone in which it is intended).

Christianity
So when Jesus was killed (presumably for the blasphemy of proclaiming himself the 'King of the Jews') those left behind decided the best way to honor him was to create a different religion?

Judaism
The Jews are known as "The Chosen Ones", but I have to ask what they were chosen for? Since pretty much the beginning of civilization the Jews have only been chosen for death and scapegoatism (can I get a spell check on my made up word??) as best I can tell.

Buddhism
If you’re a good person and meet a certain set of standards, when you die you go to Nirvana, which is, of course, a fancy version of heaven.  But if you’re bad, you’re basically demoted? You can come back as a pig or a goat or something. But here’s what I don’t understand. How do you work your way back up? Do you have to be a good pig to then be reborn as a human? What is a good pig? One who doesn’t roll around in it’s own shit?! What’s a good cow? One who gets lucky enough to be in a Hebrew National hotdog? I mean, they do ‘answer to a higher authority.’” (I'll be taking my stand-up routine on the road shortly).

Islam
Forget radical extremists.  I am not bigoted or naive enough to believe that the majority of Islam are whack-job terrorists.  But, prayer 5 times a day?  Now, that is extreme.  Add that to sleeping and eating and I have to wonder how Muslims have time for anything else.
 
 
As usual this post is meant to get a laugh and inspire thought, as well as maybe provoke some comments/feedback.  Feel free to educate me on the finer religious principles or just rip into me for being an insensitive ass...

Butterfly Effect

I’m saddened to say this, but an Ashton Kutcher movie changed my life.

Did I get your attention? Are you vomiting in your mouth a little?

Well, let me explain before you decide to never again visit this blog.

In 2004, The Butterfly Effect, was released in theaters and a few months later I actually got sucked into watching it on HBO. The movie itself was actually not bad (the casting of Amy Smart really helped), but it was the premise of the Butterfly Effect that really caught my attention (this theory/premise is in many movies, but this one has it in the title, so…).
For us laymen, the Butterfly Effect basically implies that even the smallest thing can change everything; that the flapping of a butterfly’s wing can change the atmospheric pressure, which can change the weather, which can cause a monsoon, which can destroy a home…

While the butterfly analogy goes a little far for my tastes, I think it puts real perspective on who each of us is and why. Over the last year I’ve spent a good deal of time evaluating who I am and the life I’ve ‘chosen’. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering ‘what if’. The interesting thing is that I’m noticing the questions stem, not from the big decisions, but the little ones. In fact I’ve noticed that in large part my life has been determined by actions, events and ultimately circumstances out of my control.
Some people say they live life with no regrets; that everything they’ve done – for better or worse – has led them to who they are. While this sentiment is certainly true, and I like who I am, there are absolutely things I would change; words I would take back, actions I would undo, and moves I would make… As I wrote in an earlier post, maybe it’s for the best that we can’t go back and change things, but it sure is interesting to think about.

Pencil and Eraser

What if life was more like a pencil? I mean, we are already quite similar. Sometimes we are sharp and really at our peak. Other times we are dull and long to go back to the way things once were. Sometimes we get injured and can recover, like using the one side of a broken pencil. Sometimes we get discarded or forgotten about. Sometimes we are overlooked because something better comes along, like the pen. As with pencils, we shrink with age, and both our life and that of the pencil will be used up. One obvious difference worth mentioning is the eraser. I mean, a pencil can undo its mistakes, at least until it uses up its eraser. What if we could do that also? What if we had a limited amount of take-backs in life? Would our lives substantially change? Would we foolishly make more mistakes thinking we have a good comfort zone? Would we waste them on insignificant moments in our life that at the time seemed to be “life-ending” mistakes? Could the “eraser” really heal or prevent any of our actions, feelings, or lives? If we “learn from all our mistakes” wouldn’t erasing them leave us naïve? If we changed one mistake, wouldn’t the rest of our lives be completely different? How would we even know what a mistake is if we erased previous ones? Where is the learning curve? What if the mistake was you, and your parent’s conception of you was an accident? What if they “erased” you? The power to erase and change moments in our lives may seem, at first glance to be great, but is it? What would you erase if you could? How different would your whole life be? Would you have any regrets in the future?