Chihuahua in the Wild

This blog certainly serves as a window into my person, but today we both get to baffle at the mystery that is my brain.  I don't know where this stuff comes from honestly, but yet, here it is...

Did you ever think to before dogs became domesticated.  No?  Well until today, neither did I.  But, there was a time when the concept of a pet didn't exist.  I don't know how far back you have to go to find that time (and I don't care to do the research), but I know the first dog wasn't house trained and the first kitten didn't use a litter box... 

Just crazy to think that there was a time when Chihuahua's and poodles roamed the wild and hunted (scavanged?) for food... 

May Be Inappropriate

But still funny and on point.

Hands Across America

I don't why I was thinking about this (well actually I do, but its not really relevant) but, I just wonder how easy it would be to truly do a Hands Across America.  I remember years back this was a thing, but with today's technology I have to believe it would be just so easy to accomplish. 

We already see on facebook people promoting "turn your lights off at this exact time to support save the earth" and "don't fill your gas tank on this day" (which doesn't make much sense to me by the way), etc.  How hard would it be to spread the word and have millions of people line up across the nation?  Send out one mass Tweet/facebook message/text and have millions of people head to certain designated highways and just line up.  You could of course make it for some cause and have people collect money from each person (imagine just a dollar a person)...

I wonder, could we get people on boats to line up and create a global chain?  Would the world stop fighting for a few minutes to join in?

Anyway, that's my random thought of the day...

Random Thought of the Day

Do you ever wonder what people from your past say about you?  When the fiance of your best friend from grade school (who you haven’t talked to in years and years) sees a picture and asks ‘who is this’ does he/she say “one of my best friends growing up” or are you just reduced to “a kid I knew in high school”. 

What do you say about him/her? 

Names

There are standard rules for guys names: 
Never trust a guy named after a city or state (Dallas).
Never trust a guy with an ironic name (over 6ft, 200lbs named Tiny).
Never trust a guy with two first names (Alan Karl).
Never trust a guy with a woman's name (Leslie).

What about women?  What if a woman has two first names (Jennifer Michelle)?  What about a women named after a state (Madison)?  What about women with ironic nicknames (Tiny)?  Women named after flowers (Daisy)? 

Can I get a ruling?

To Subtitle Or Not?

The other night I watched 'The Boy With the Striped Pajamas" on my Comcast On-Demand (the best part of Comcast by far).  In short, for those that don't know, this is the story of a young German boy whose father is a high-up in the SS and charged with running a concentration camp.  While living outside the camp the young, naive boy befriends a young Jew on the other side of the fence.   

I am blogging about this, because while it was a good film I feel cheated.  For whatever reason, the director of this film chose not to use subtitles, but to instead have all characters speak English.  I assume the reason for this decision was so the viewer could relate more easily and get caught up in the mixed emotions of the characters.  However, instead I think it deprived me of that one strong emotion - hate and anger.  When I watch a film about horrors such as the holocaust I don't want to relate in any way to the murderers or even the bystanders who saw the immorality and did nothing.  I want to hate them.  (Unlike in Letters From Iwo Jima which was a great film about a war that was brutal on both sides - where I wanted to see and learn that other perspective.) 

Usually I prefer movies not to have subtitles.  I like to be able to focus on the action and images of the film rather than on reading small text at the bottom.  However, in specific cases, such as this, the German language itself stirs up emotions that I think are crucial in the film experience.  Knowing when to use subtitles is just one of the many challenges movie directors face, but it is very important. 

Mitch Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 29, 2005)

Today marks the five year anniversary of the passing of Mitch Hedberg.  I cannot declare Mitch the best comedian of all time (that would be insane), but until his passing he was undeniably right up there - at least with the 2am drunk/stoned/over-tired crowd.

Now, if you don't know who I'm talking about, get yourself to YouTube and check it out.  Below are a few of my favorite gems. (Note: Mitch's humor is in his delivery and relaxed/stoner facade.  Read the below as if the man is not telling a joke, but a real life story.)

"When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box, they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. "Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter." But I like crackers man, that's why I bought it, 'cause I like crackers! I don't see a suggestion to put a Ritz on top of a Ritz. I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates! You've got no faith in the product itself."

"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here."

"This shirt is "dry-clean only"...which means it's dirty."

"One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son-of-a-bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera... what's it look like? ""

"I think they could take Sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine five years from now saying, "Damn, remember Sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank!" They're gonna have to change that McDonald's song: "Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a... bun." How's a Sesame seed stick to a bun? That's fuckin' magical! There's got to be some Sesame seed glue out there! Either that, or they're adhesive on one side. "Take the Sesame seed out, remove the backing, place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular." What does a Sesame seed grow into? I don't know; we never gave them a chance! What the fuck is a Sesame? It's a street! It's a way...to open shit!"

"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

Philly, Philly

If this doesn't evoke some kind of response from my readers, I don't know what will.

http://egotvonline.com/2010/01/28/philadelphia-%E2%80%93-home-of-the-underdog/

Poop

As I assume most of you have noticed, on the bottom of each post are three little boxes - The Goods, Eh, and Poop.  If you click on one it tells me that some anonymous person (I have no way of knowing who) liked, didn't like or was indifferent to my post. It's great feedback for me. 

The problem I'm having is with the 'Poop' selection.  Hey, I know not everything I write is genius and honestly, sometimes I force it just to get a post up, so, 'poop' is a totally valid option from time to time.  But, if you think something I've written is poop, please leave a comment or send an e-mail and let me know why.  Is it that you disagree with what I'm saying, or is it that it's just boring, etc.  The feedback helps me not only create better posts in the future, but if you have a different point of view, or information to add, my readers and I can all benefit from it.

So, please, continue to let me know what you think.  But maybe elaborate a little for me going forward?.

Servings Per Container

I was in Target and browsing through the frozen food section to see if there was anything on sale or anything that caught my eye.  I hadn't had a chicken pot pie since I was a kid and it seemed like the kind of comfort food I could get into, so I picked one up.  - Now, I'm not the healthiest guy alive, but I try to take care of myself. I go to the gym regularly and I eat my fruits and vegetables. I don't count calories, but I try to keep track of what I put into my body.  - So, as I'm getting ready to throw the pot pie into the oven I quickly browse the nutrition information on the back of the box.  I am not naive enough to think something made of cream soup and pie crust is gonna be healthy, so I wasn't too shocked to see the calorie content around 500.  I was, however, SHOCKED when I realized that it was 500+ calories per serving.  Why was I shocked?  Because according to Marie Calendar, who produced this frozen pot pie, there were 2 servings in the box.  Excuse me? 
SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU DIVIDE A CHICKEN POT PIE INTO MULTIPLE SERVINGS.  It's not like a pizza pie that you can cut into slices.  If I cut a pot pie into 2 servings the filling is gonna run all over the place.  And once it's cooked you can't refrigerate the half you don't eat and reheat it later (it will turn to mush).. Marie Calendar knows this.  I know it's a marketing ploy so the average consumer won't notice they are about to indulge in a 1000 calorie meal, but its nonsense. 
It's one thing for Entenmanns to say a serving size is 3 cookies knowing full well the average person is gonna eat more than that, but it's a whole nother to be asked to cut the cookie in 2.

Needless to say, this caloric mess is still in my freezer, just waiting until I'm desperate enough.

I guess the moral here is that everyone should pay attention to what they buy and what they put in their bodies.  'Cause the manufacturers won't.

Ice Breaker

As you attend all of the holiday parties this weekend and through new years you’ll hopefully have the chance to meet new people. For some, conversation doesn’t come so easily and it can be awkward trying to figure out how to initiate. There will be times when someone introduces you to their 3rd cousin and after exchanging pleasantries you’ll just kind of stare at each and hope for some divine intervention. I’m not God, but maybe I can help.

Below are some easy conversation starters.

- If you were on a deserted island, what 3 albums would you bring along?
- Law and Order SVU or Criminal Intent?
- Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera or Jessica Simpson? Then or now? - the discussion may be different, but this is not surprisingly a unisex question.
- PTI or Around the Horn? - This is probably more for the men.
- What’s your favorite celebrity gossip site? – This is probably more for the ladies.
- Which do you put on first? Your pants or socks?
- Wipe sitting or standing?

Ok, all of these suggestions are kind of a joke, but any if nothing else pops in your head, go for it.

Anyone have other suggestions for topics of conversation?