Leslie Nielsen Dead at age 84

You've all undoubtedly heard about the passing of Leslie Nielsen yesterday, but still I felt it necessary to acknowledge it here.  You can go ahead and Google him or YouTube some clips from his movies (you'll find tons I'm sure), but I'm just going to leave you with this:

Until recently I thought the Nielsen TV rating was based on how funny television shows were compared to Leslie Nielsen comedies....

Ok, that's not really true, but would you be surprised if such a rating system existed?  Airplane! was a whole nother level of comedy (up there with Spaceballs - my all-time favorite)..

Thanksgiving

I'm a day late, but let's be honest.. I had better things to do and you probably did too.

Still, I feel it appropriate to acknowledge Thanksgiving.  As is my style I'll do so by "borrowing" funny quotes from others..

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." - Jon Stewart

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." - Johnny Carson


Now, I also wanted to take a minute to acknowledge Black Friday, but a quick Google search came up with nada.  It did lead me to these Lewis Black quotes, however, which I consider a win.

"In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants."

"It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got saran wrap – FIX IT!!!"

Exhibit A

Walking through the halls of school today I heard one girl talking to another:

"Yes. I broke up with him, but we were still talking, like on the phone and stuff, so yeah, I feel like he cheated on me."

For the sake of not offending my audience or alienating anyone I'll stop this post here....

ER Reservations

A hospital in Memphis has recently created an online reservation system for it's ER.  For $15 you can make a reservation at the ER and be seen within 15 minutes of your reservation time.. If you are not, you get a refund of your $15..

hmmmmm....

1 - Isn't the ER for EMERGENCIES?  if you can plan ahead doesn't it mean it's not really an emergency?
2 - If you aren't seen within that 15 minutes you get a refund.. the hospital has a $15 incentive to help those that make reservations but no incentive to help those having heart attacks.. can this cause patient bias?  liabilities?  On the same token if you aren't seen within 15 minutes the hospital just stands to lose the $15 pre-pay.. That's not really a penalty. 

This whole thing feels just wrong, but just wait.. it's soon coming to a hospital near you.

http://www.wmctv.com/Global/story.asp?S=13473665

Murphy's Law #76

Tucking a shirt into your pants perfectly is no easy task.. But doing it twice is a great feat..

Unfortunately Murphy's Law #76 dictates that as soon as you get that perfect tuck nature will call.   Damn Murphy!

Names

There are standard rules for guys names: 
Never trust a guy named after a city or state (Dallas).
Never trust a guy with an ironic name (over 6ft, 200lbs named Tiny).
Never trust a guy with two first names (Alan Karl).
Never trust a guy with a woman's name (Leslie).

What about women?  What if a woman has two first names (Jennifer Michelle)?  What about a women named after a state (Madison)?  What about women with ironic nicknames (Tiny)?  Women named after flowers (Daisy)? 

Can I get a ruling?

Hello

Wow.  It's been a long time, huh?  Bet most of you never thought you'd hear from me again.  Honestly, I had doubts myself.  I still do. And yet, here we are. 

What to talk about?  I recently moved to the South and that should provide some good foder for this blog.  I also started working towards my MBA (in Marketing if you couldn't guess) which I imagine will leave plenty of options to bitch.  Today, however I want to step back into this slowly. 

Funny, random, cynical quote time:

"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started."

Women!

This put a grin on my face.. and seemed worth passing along.

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give you a baby. Give her a house, she will give you a home. Give her groceries, she will give you a meal. Give her a smile and she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given.  So if you give her crap be ready to recieve a ton of Shit.”

At least we know some of that is true.

Thanks Parul D. for sharing.

Tupac - Smile

"Literally" is a word often misused.  Too many times do people use 'literally' as a descriptive word for emphasis.  No, it isn't literally hot as hell.  No, you didn't literally die from laughter. 

On the other hand, this song did literally change my life - for better or worse.  From when I first heard this song as a freshman in college I can track its impact on my life right up until today.  This song has directly led to friendships and "romantic' relationships.  It has led to joy I couldn't imagine and heartache I never wanted to.  Though I'm sure it's not written for the problems of a white kid from suburbia, this song has helped me through some bad times and given me hope that they'll be more good ones. 

I often talk about the Butterfly Effect on this blog - because I think it's fascinating - and this is a perfect example.  One silly little 4 minute song by a guy I've never met has altered my life is immeasurable ways. 

What songs have had a real effect on your lives?

The video has a pretty long intro.  If you're short on time skip ahead to about the 1 minute mark.  Also, if you get the chance I highly recommend VH1's Rock Doc on Tupac.  


Thank you (??) Nick L. for introducing me to this song and apparently changing my life forever. 

Our God Who Art in Heaven

How come religious people and those who believe in Heaven always think they'll meet God in the afterlife?  I'm not saying that it isn't the case (personally I really hope it is because I've got some things to say to him/her), but doesn't it seem a little far fetched?  Seriously, you could work in the same major corporation for 20 years and never meet the CEO.  Why would God be easier to get an audience with?  With the number of people that die everyday, there is no way God would have time to meet everyone (unless he/she really is everywhere)..  Maybe Heaven really is like Six Flags.  A really long line for a 30 second payoff.