Cynism is my favorite 'ism'

I hate clichés. Don’t get me wrong. I understand why we use them. I understand that sometimes there’s nothing else to say. I get it, but I don’t like it.
Let’s analyze some clichés:

‘What’s meant to be, will be.’ – This is basically spiritual communism. Why would you ever work for anything?

‘God gives us only what we can handle.’ – Then why is there suicide?

‘Everything happens for a reason.’ – This is a tough one. I know a lot of people NEED to believe this; NEED to use this logic to explain why bad things happen. Unfortunately I don’t buy into it. Sure, everything has a CAUSE, but not a ‘reason’. A young kid gets killed by a drunk driver. The cause is the stupid drunk driver. You want a ‘reason’; a greater purpose; god’s plan? Well, unfortunately if there is a greater reason us, here on earth, will never find it. Unfortunately the 'reason' is just that life isn’t fair.

(Speaking of:) ‘Life isn’t fair.’ – This is one of my favorites. This actually seems to be a rare truth in the world. Unfortunately it isn’t the comforting statement we all want it to be.

‘God helps those who help themselves.’- Have you ever read the directions on those over-the-counter acne medications? ‘Wash face thoroughly before applying a thin layer three times a day…blah, blah, blah’. If you wash your face three times a day, you wouldn’t need the acne cream. Is this analogy clear?

‘He/She will get what they deserve.’ – Haven’t we established that life isn’t fair? Karma is great in theory, but that’s as far as it goes. How many successful and happy assholes can you name?

‘You deserve better.’ – Yeah, maybe you do... and maybe you’ll get it. But, again, life isn’t fair. There are no guarantees. Sometimes settling for ‘good enough’ is the right choice.


While I may sound cynical, I think the logic is pretty sound. But more-over, I don’t think it’s the clichés in themselves that are really the issue. What really gets me is that in the same five-minute conversation you can be told conflicting clichés – all with the best intentions. They’ve become over-used and lost their purpose. Let’s look at this fictional dialogue:

"She broke up with me."
"I'm sorry, but let's be honest, you deserved better (cliche #1)."
"Yeah, but it sucks. I didn't do anything wrong. It's not fair."
"Well, life isn't fair (cliche#2)."
"I guess, but I don't know if I'll ever be happy again."
"Yeah, well, I think this happened for a reason (cliche #3)."
"And what's that?"
"So you can find someone better."
"But if life isn't fair, how do you know I will find someone better?"
"I don't."
"Oh... well, thanks for the pep-talk."

Need I go on?

Straylight Run - Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

In college my roommate introduced me to Straylight Run. He had gone to high school with one of the band members. Then when I entered the real world and made 'adult' friends I learned that one of them had a cousin in the band. It was one of those 'small world' moments.

I gotta admit, I am a huge fan of the music. This is one of many great songs.



And all our sins,
Come back to haunt us in the end,
To hang around and tap us on the shoulder,
And smile silent,
It's all implied,
You'll die trying to live this down,
You might as well forget it,
Still I'm convinced,
Wondering what if is the worst thing there is,

So we bottled and shelved all our regrets,
Let them ferment and came back to our senses,
Drove back home and slept a few days,
Woke up and laughed at how stupid we used to be,

And all these lines fall short of what I had in mind,
A failed attempt to capsulize a feeling,
So I just try,
Fail and try and try again,
Someday I swear I'm going to get it,
Because I'm convinced that giving in is the worst thing there is,

So we bottled and shelved all our regrets,
Let them ferment and came back to our senses,
Drove back home and slept a few days,
Woke up and laughed at how stupid we used to be,

We'll get over it,
Sad, strong, safe, and sober,
We'll move forward,
And know where we went wrong,
But you can't go home again,
You can't go home again,
You can't go home again,
You can't go home again,
You can't go home again!
You can't go home again!
You can't go home again!!!

So we bottled and shelved all our regrets,
Let them ferment and came back to our senses,
Drove back home and slept a few days,
Woke up and laughed at how stupid we used to be.

Bill Russell and Jon Stewart

I don't think this needs a huge introduction, so I'll just say this. I'm sure Bill Russell had his 'star' moments, and I'm sure he's done some things in his life that he isn't proud of, but I would be happy if more of today's athletes were this genuine, well-spoken and just good people.

Oh yeah, and Jon Stewart is pretty much my idol.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bill Russell
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
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Pencil and Eraser

What if life was more like a pencil? I mean, we are already quite similar. Sometimes we are sharp and really at our peak. Other times we are dull and long to go back to the way things once were. Sometimes we get injured and can recover, like using the one side of a broken pencil. Sometimes we get discarded or forgotten about. Sometimes we are overlooked because something better comes along, like the pen. As with pencils, we shrink with age, and both our life and that of the pencil will be used up. One obvious difference worth mentioning is the eraser. I mean, a pencil can undo its mistakes, at least until it uses up its eraser. What if we could do that also? What if we had a limited amount of take-backs in life? Would our lives substantially change? Would we foolishly make more mistakes thinking we have a good comfort zone? Would we waste them on insignificant moments in our life that at the time seemed to be “life-ending” mistakes? Could the “eraser” really heal or prevent any of our actions, feelings, or lives? If we “learn from all our mistakes” wouldn’t erasing them leave us naïve? If we changed one mistake, wouldn’t the rest of our lives be completely different? How would we even know what a mistake is if we erased previous ones? Where is the learning curve? What if the mistake was you, and your parent’s conception of you was an accident? What if they “erased” you? The power to erase and change moments in our lives may seem, at first glance to be great, but is it? What would you erase if you could? How different would your whole life be? Would you have any regrets in the future?

Kentaco Hut

Several years ago I was introduced to a new phenomenon. It was called the Kentaco Hut.

For those of you that don't know, Kentaco Hut is the combination of KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut in one location serviced by the same cashiers.

It's pure genius. It's also pure frustration.

As a whole, I have never in my life yearned for KFC or Pizza Hut, as I have for Taco Bell and the Cheesy Gordita Crunch (easily one of the best fast food creations of my generation). But that's the genius of the Kentaco Hut. Because I do love macaroni and cheese and potato wedges and biscuits. Ummm biscuits..

So, while I go in for the Cheesy Gordita Crunch I always end up staring at the menu for a few minutes contemplating how badly I want a biscuit or whether its cheaper to get one of those KFC meal boxes, etc.. Inevitably I will over-order, and allow Kentaco Hut to make a few extra dollars off me. Hence their genius.

Unfortunately for them, I am a product of my upbringing and I do not take this lightly. I am always sure to take a few extra taco sauce packets home with me (they are excellent to have in the house for when making my own tacos).

I Bless the Rains Down in Africa

Toto's 'Africa' is one of those borderline guilty pleasures. It's one of those songs that crosses generations, musical tastes, and cultures. This a capella version by a group in Slovenia is a perfect example of this. While they do a decent job of covering the song, the most impressive part is the intro. Check it out. (I suggest you turn your volume all the way up and then you can gradually lower it.)



Thanks Pearl B. for sending this my way.

MTV Scores Big.. with me

When MTV was introduced it was a television station dedicated to the music. It was 24 hours of music videos and other music related content. In the decades since it has evolved into something completely different. Something I find relatively unwatchable.

Over the years there have been some bright spots. Singled Out, the original Real World and Road Rules and now this:



While the show is average at best, the premise is classic.

For The Ladies - Football Etiquette

Being the manly-man that I am, it's hard for me to keep the content of this blog from being male-centric. Obviously I write to what I know/what I care about, and, well, obviously those things aren't fashion, celebrity gossip or lifetime movies. I do want to diversify my audience though and thus I make a conscious effort to have a little something for everyone. So every once in a while I'll post some 'advice'/'tips'/'information' specifically for the ladies.

Ladies, I know some of you are football fans. I know some of you understand the game. I know some of you appreciate the game. I know some of you know the rules and etiquette to watching the game. This posting is not for you.

For the rest of you, if you are only watching the game to impress a guy or bond with your boyfriend, or because your brother/father got to the remote first, here are some tips that will help make the event go much smoother.

- Talking should be limited to commercials, time-outs, and the huddle. When the play is about to begin (and the players are lined up in position) talking is to cease. In 10, 15, or 20 seconds when the play ends you can pick up right where you left off.

- Likewise if your phone rings you are to immediately hit the silence button. If you would like to pick it up and have a conversation don't hesitate. We don't mind. Just be sure to leave the room and our earshot. Our focus must not be interrupted.

- Superstitions are prevalent in sports from the players to the fans. All traditions are to be given the utmost respect. If we have a lucky jersey you are not to wash it at any time without our approval, regardless of smell, stains or how embarassing it is to wear in public.

- If at a bar or the sporting venue, when a big play happens, it is expected that you will high-five everyone within arms reach of you (that is a 360 degree radius). Don't leave those around you hanging (even if the guy behind you looks like Ted Kaczynski).

- We understand that you don't know all of the intricacies of the game and we don't expect you to. We welcome questions. It shows you care enough about us to try to find a shared interest. Please, though remember the above talking rule. We will happily explain offsides and encroachment, and what that penalty was for, but timing is everything.

- Know that if we, at any point during the game, snap at you it is not really directed at you. Obviously the game is not going well and we are frustrated and you likely did not follow the above tips. Don't take it personal.

- Finally, 'sitting through a football game for us' is not grounds for us having dinner with your family or going to a chick flick.

Understanding Marketing

You see an amazing girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
-That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see an amazing girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."
-That's Advertising.

You see an amazing girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
–That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see an amazing girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
-That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see an amazing girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
-That's Brand Recognition.

University Stickers

I really dislike when parents have stickers from their children's colleges and universities on the rear window of their cars.

It's not that they don't deserve them or that they shouldn't be proud of their children. It's just that when I see a sticker for "_______ University" or "College of _______" I immediately wonder if there is a cute college-age girl driving the car whom I can maybe spend a few minutes flirting with to break up my monotonous drive. If I'm gonna speed up so I can get a glance, I would appreciate the driver to at least be in my age bracket. It's always a huge let-down when it turns out to be a middle-aged mom or dad.

Parents - be proud of your kids. Show off your pride. Buy a sweatshirt. Or at least get the car sticker that says "parent".

Attitude

"The longer I live, the more I realized the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes." -An excerpt found on a carwash bathroom stall

- Thank you Mike C. for contributing this quote.

NFL Rookie Hold-outs

I'm not going to spend too much time talking about how ridiculous it is that athletes make as much money as they do and tickets/beers/pretzels costs so much. That would be a waste of a perfectly good post.

What I do want to discuss are rookies with a false sense of entitlement. I'm not gonna talk names or specifics, but where do they get off thinking they have all this bargaining power?

In particular, I love when a rookie athlete threatens to sit out the season. Talk about an empty threat. It's a lose-lose situation. If you don't play you don't get paid. And you can't impress other teams when you aren't on the field. So the following season you are only in a worse bargaining position. Plus, how do you live for that season? Do you collect unemployment? Does your agent give you a stipend? Do you get a job at McDonalds making minimum wage?

The powertrip is nonsense. Take your contract. Play your ass off and then get paid when you become a free agent. Don't complain about not being paid what you're worth. None of us in the white collar or blue collar jobs are either.


NFL- you need to re-evaluate your pay scales, etc. There should never be talk about having the #1 pick being a bad thing. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or this is the best plan, but here's my thought:

Put rookies on a set scale based on draft position. Then make their rookie contracts only 1 or 2 years. After that, Darwinism will take over and players will get fair market value. Those that can cut it right away in the pros will have bigger pay days. Those that take time to develop or just bust will get contracts accordingly.

Luda

OK. So I'm not the biggest rap/hip-hop officianado. I readily admit that. But my music tastes do span the entire spectrum.

I gotta say, Ludacris may not in fact be the best rapper, but if you want a hit song, I would totally give him a guest appearance. He's made some bad songs tolerable and some good songs better.

I tried to find a clip/montage of some of his guest appearances, but I came up blank. Below are some songs and I put the time code of when Ludacris takes over. Enjoy.

2:30


1:58


2:27


1:38

Cell Phone Bills

Another topic of posts that I see as being fairly common are 'things I don't understand.' Now, I am a relatively smart guy, but let's be honest, there are things in this world that don't make sense to me. Maybe it's because I am uniformed. Maybe it's because I'm a skeptic and a little (a lot) cynical. Maybe it's because some people are idiots. Regardless, I am pretty sure a blog is a great place to discuss such things.

Now, I don't understand cell phone bills. Why do the taxes and surcharges change every month? For simplicity sake, if my plan is $50 a month and taxes are 10% my bill should be $55 each month. Why isn't it? Why is my bill $54.22 one month and $57.83 the next?
Why is there a '9-1-1' surcharge? Isn't that what taxes are for to begin with? I appreciate what police do for me (on a grand scale, not everything, of course) and I'm glad for the ability to dial 9-1-1 in an emergency, but why does it cost so much? It's not a 900 number? Hell, I'd prefer if it was. Don't charge me every month. Charge me $2.99 when I actually use it. If I need 9-1-1 I'm sure that I'll be more than happy to pay the 'access' charge.
How come there's an additional "administrative" charge on my bill? Shouldn't that be including in my $50 monthly fee? Why does it change each month? Is it depending on how many times I have to call customer service? Shouldn't I get a discount each month if I have to sit on the phone with customer service?

WHY DO WE LET CELL PHONE COMPANYS, AND ALL OTHERS LIKE THEM NICKEL AND DIME US? Why don't we make them explain these extraneous charges?

(all cell phone costs were made-up for this post, but you get the point.)

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Another thing that I appreciate are famous (and not-so famous) quotes. Some say exactly how I feel and thus resonate with me. Some let me know that I'm not the first to go through something or feel a certain way, and I find some sense of peace in that. Some just make me laugh. On this blog I will share with you many quotes. Hopefully they will serve their purpose, whether to motivate, inspire, or just make you laugh. As usual, feedback is welcome and I hope if there are quotes you enjoy that you will share them with me.

As football season gears up this seems appropriate.

"If women were meant to play football, God would have put their tits somewhere else." - Gordon Sinclair

Scotty Doesn't Know

Eurotrip has been on TV a decent amount recently so I have to ask...

Is there any way that Fiona (Kristin Kreuk) could portray any more raw sexuality? Good lord! I think she might be the best actress of our time.



For you ladies, please enjoy Matt Damon, and this definitely catchy song.

NJ Nets Alienate All 5 of Their True Fans

The NY Yankees refuse to put names on the back of their jerseys to symbolize that the team means more than any player.

Football is a team sport, where only a few elite stars are recognizeable without their jerseys.

The NBA, in contrast, sells their sport through their stars. The culture of the sport is flash over substance, and that's best portrayed by the stars of the league and the highlight reel plays. Truth is that fans are much more likely to know the shooting percentage of Lebron James than they are to know the passing percentage of Peyton Manning. For that reason, as a marketer, I can see the value in this promotion:




NBA fans wear jerseys of the best players no matter what team they are on. Walk into any NBA arena on game day and you will see not only jerseys of the 2 teams competing, but also multitudes of Lebron and Kobe jerseys, etc.

However, this promotion shouts, "our team doesn't have stars, and we won't be winning any championships, so if that isn't a draw to watch our team, hopefully we can bribe you with these jerseys". This is blatantly and brutally disrepectful to all of the TRUE Nets fans. Even if there are only 5 of them and even if they are on the way out.

Dear Nets Management,
When you move to Brooklyn I hope you have a commitment to winning and to your fan base because that is Knicks country and New Yorkers are proud and loyal. They have stood by the Knicks during years of losing seasons. They still sell-out every game and have a season-ticket waiting list years long. To gain any market share you'd better have a damn good product.

- thanks to Mike R. for sending me this flier.

Do Not Try This At Home

Check this out: As Seen On TV

Did this guy watch 'The Transporter' a few too many times? Was Jason Statham the wheel-man?

What's the insurance premium on a store that keeps over $65 million in jewelry? Yikes.

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah

There's something about the way Jeff Buckley performs this song that is so powerful and so emotionally charged.

Jeff Buckley drowned late one night several years ago. I don't want to make light of his death as it is certainly tragic, but I do have to wonder: if his life flashed before his eyes in those last few moments was this the song he heard during the montage?

Well I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
And She tied you to her kitchen chair
And She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Well maby I've been here before
I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor,
You know, I used to live alone before I knew you
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Maybe there is a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the lord of song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

The End of the Olympics

There was a time when the Olympics were special. They were an occassion for families and friends to get together and watch our athletes compete against the best of the world. It was intriguing to see what other countries had to offer and how we stacked up. It was cool to learn a little about other countries cultures or why their environments gave them an advantage. It was special because it was once every 2 or 4 years.

With the latest discussion of adding golf to the 2016 games I am reminded of why the Olympics have lost their luster, and it's simple: lack of intrigue.

Years ago the games were about amateur athletes facing new, unfamiliar competition. It was about going up against new opponents and wondering if you were good enough to win. Now, professional athletes rule the day.

Was it exciting to watch the US Basketball team win gold in 2008? Was there ever question of if we would win?

Sure the original Dream Team (1992) was exciting. It was great to see Magic and Bird on the same team; to see Jordan and Clyde the Glide run the court. It was a novelty act though. It was like watching the Globetrotters play the Washington Generals. It was like watching the NBA All-star game - I just assume watch the 60 second highlight real than the actual game. Now, consider the US team in 1988. We got to watch the then unknown David Robinson, Mitch Richmond and JR Reid take on Vlade Divac, Toni Kukoc and Arvydas Sabonis. We got to see the birth of stars. The emotions were different. The game was different. It had some drama.

It used to be Olympic athletes came from the NCAA, where they were scarcely known, made no money for their effort, and only faced international competition once or twice in a lifetime. Today, the Olympics feature athletes who've faced each other dozens of times, know each others skills, and are maybe even facebook friends. The Olympics have lost that element of discovery and that 'us' versus 'them' attitude.

Today, the best golfers in the world play against each other everyday on the PGA tour and we get to watch it. Would winning an Olympic gold mean more than winning a major? Would anyone bet against Tiger? Would non-golf fans watch just to see if our country is the best in the world? I wouldn't.

Saved - from the same old boring television

I grew up watching television. I don't understand people who say "I don't really watch TV". What are these people doing with their lives that I'm not?

Anyway, I consider myself close to an expert on most things television (and entertainment) related. So I feel confident when I say Rescue Me is one of, if not the, best show on television currently.

Each week I am amazed at how this show pushes the boundaries of decency and more often than not crosses them. And I, for one, love it.

If you haven't gotten into this show it's because you haven't watched it. I know how hard it can be to get into a new show, but this clip should give you all the incentive you need.

RESCUE ME on FX Network Tuesdays at 10 and 11pm.

Love/Hate Relationship

Long ago I read this article and I knew one day I would blog about it. Today is that day.

Pill use 'can make women pick Mr. Wrong'

While the contraceptive pill has many obvious benefits could it be the reason the divorce rate in this country has sky-rocketed since its introduction to the public in the '60's?

At this time I feel a PSA is in order:

Ladies, if you aren't sure he's the one, stop taking your pill for a month and see how you feel about him... or at least get a pre-nup.

Round Tuit

So, I had been putting off the blogging for a while. I wasn't sure which website to go with, or what content I really had to add, or why anyone would read this. But then I remembered something my father had given me in high school and I knew it was time.

Jimmy Eat World - The World You Love

I am a fan of music. I love how the right song can pump me up or mellow me out. I love how musicians can say everything I want to say but with a better beat.  I love getting in my car, rolling down the windows, blasting some awesome tunes and getting lost in the moment.  I also love sharing the things that I love with others so that they too might get the chance to enjoy. With that in mind this blog will often feature music posts. It might be a popular song that's stuck in my head. It might be an unknown song or band that I think is worth passing along. It might be a song with awesome lyrics, or it might just have an awesome drum solo or a beat that I'm feeling. It might be rock or rap or punk, but it likely won't be country and it definitely won't be classical.

Let me know if you like the music I select to share. And PLEASE post comments about music you think I might enjoy. I'm always looking to expand my horizons.

Hello World

Welcome to my blog. I figured everyone else and their mother has a blog so maybe I should get on it. I've got to be more interesting than most moms, afterall. Also, since I don't have a job and you're bored at yours this is a win-win.
Anyway you can see what to expect on this blog on the right side-bar. Obviously this thing will evolve as we go, but hopefully you like it.
It's important that you leave feedback and comments and let me know what you like, what you don't like, etc. Be proactive. Get involved. I'm writing this blog for me, but if no one else reads it I might as well just start a journal (and let's be honest, that's not really my style).